is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Holy sore nipples Batman
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
