I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
