More tranny stories later!
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
