Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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