If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
