Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
