I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
