Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
