I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
