just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
they need to just BURY HIM!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
