Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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