We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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