Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
