Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize