don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
