So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
