So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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