she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
