somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
