batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
