Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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