Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
