I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
