Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
