fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
