Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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