Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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