How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
