guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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