for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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