it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just had sex on a roof
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
