Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
