who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize