Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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