all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You've changed since you got that strap on
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
