$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize