the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
