I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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