If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
