Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
