he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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