i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
