I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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