I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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