So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i would punch a child for taco bell
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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