try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
