you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
