bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
