respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
