I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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