I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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