I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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