Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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