I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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