SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
