omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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