we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Acid is not a monday night drug
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
