She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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