ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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