So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
This show inspires me to have sex in space
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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