i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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