U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
