I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
