I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
They are going to name an STD after you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
