I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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